Question by : Church etiquette and perfume and gum?
I had a situation yesterday in church where I apparently offended someone.
I sat down a couple of chairs from a lady I have sat near before, but it was months ago. Then on the other side of me sat another lady. I know them both, but we aren’t buddies or anything.
Well the woman on my left was drowning in perfume or strong soap and I get headaches from even opening magazines with perfume in them. The woman on my right was a large woman who was spilling over her chair and I could barely move. The annoying thing about her was that she was not only chewing gum but cracking it and since she was large and taller than I was she was angled at a way that it was about 10 inches from my ear. I can’t stand that gum cracking, especially in church. I think it’s rude and distracting.
I had sat next to these women several months ago and between the two and the kid sitting me behind me kicking my chair, I left church that day with a pounding headache that lasted all afternoon. I didn’t want it to happen again. So during the meet and greet, before the preacher got up there, I moved.
After the service the gum cracker made a beeline for me and asked why I moved. I said I was too distracted over there. She said “distracted? What’s the mean?” I said someone’s perfume was way too strong and I’m allergic to that. She said “Well I’m not wearing no perfume but I’m offended that you moved.” I said “Oh please! Please don’t. I didn’t mean to offend anyone….I was just starting to feel sick!” But she stormed off.
So now what? I figure it’s her problem. She’s a 60 year old grown woman. So what if I moved? I was there to hear the preaching and worship, not have her practically sitting in my lap cracking gum in my ear. I could have flat out told her, and probably should have, that her gum chewing is offensive but I was trying to be nice.
So should I try to further smooth this over somehow or let it go? I’m thinking let it go.
Kiko, I believe she is just the kind of person who gets offended at anything. I made more than a good effort to apologize but she walked away from me and doesn’t want to talk to me. We must learn as christians to be unoffendable.
Kiko, offense indicates one has an ego. I don’t believe or know of any passage where Jesus was offended. I could be wrong tho but, yes, it indicates an ego is involved. You may be right tho that she did not want to sit alone.
Answer by Nona said so
I would just let it go. If she’s too daft to figure out she’s annoying, that’s her problem.
Chewing gum in church is completely rude and distracting. I don’t blame you at all. Same with people who bathe in perfume. I like to smell nice but you don’t need to smell me a mile away.
Sit where you want. The fact that you’re going to church in the first place is all the validation you need.
Add your own answer in the comments!